Putting myself out there

Grew up a smart, relatively introverted kid in a small town. Had a tumultuous childhood, which resulted in severe people-pleasing tendencies thinking that I would be accepted if I was just “good enough.” Basically replicated that kind of thinking and behavior in all situations and relationships.

Was cheated on. Experienced burnout. Was exhausted from trying to prove myself to the world. One day, I decided it was enough. Wanted more than to hide behind my success and achievements. Wanted more than to feel pressured into being the best. Wanted more than what was offered - and decided to raise the boundaries and the standard.

The journey was messy. Ended up locking myself in a cabin with a stack of books and my best friend. Spent three weeks in that cabin questioning my life and decided I was sick and tired of myself shitting things up. Started seriously rethinking my decisions. Started going to therapy.

Took a long time to realize survival can look like a shield made of accolades and achievements. Started asking myself what would happen if I let go of control and the need to please. Realized I have complete control over what and who I accept in my life. Started taking radical responsibility. Stopped working myself into oblivion. Started talking about what I had learned. And people started relating to it.

Promised I’ll stop avoiding things, people and conversations that made me uncomfortable. Stopped seeking answers in others and started creating them on my own. Started appreciating the struggles, the pressure, the circumstances that shaped me into who I am today. Started writing. Continued writing. Went from survivor to thriver.

Stopped doing the things that sounded right and started doing those things that felt right.